如题所述
第1个回答 2015-04-27
Several months ago, I saw part of an interview Oprah conducted with the porn star Jenna Jameson. Apparently the show was about the increased use of pornography by women. Judging from what I saw, Oprah and her audience seemed to think this was a good societal development.
Though Jameson has retired from her “profession,” she is proud of her work. “I love who I am. I love that I can look back and say ‘I did it my way.’” She set out to be the number one porn star in the world and succeeded. Though she worries about how she will explain her past to her twin sons, she has no regrets.
As she spoke these words, the audience nodded in agreement. What is the point of regret anyway? "No sense dwelling on the past." "As long as she did it her way, that’s all that matters."
In our society, we talk about mistakes and learning from our mistakes. But that is different from regret. When we regret something we have done, we feel guilty. Though some people are guilt-ridden, many more think guilt is pointless and debilitating. It is a "psychological failing." To dwell on the sins of one’s past is "unhealthy."
Contrast this with St. Augustine. In his "Confessions," he says he was only able to know the joy of Christ by turning away from a life of sin. And he knew what he was talking about. As a young adult, Augustine lived a rather wild life in 5th century Rome and Milan, where he was a teacher of rhetoric and a speechwriter. He partied a lot, attended gladiatorial games, kept a mistress and had an illegitimate child.
One day, he walked into his garden, feeling overwhelmed with utter guilt and uselessness. At this low moment, he seemed to hear a child’s voice say, pick up and read. And having at hand St. Paul’s letter to the Romans, he opened it and read:
“Let us conduct ourselves becomingly as in the day, not in reveling and drunkenness, not in debauchery and licentiousness, not in quarreling or jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”
Augustine instantly underwent a deep spiritual change. Later he became a priest, a bishop, a Christian philosopher, one the greatest saints in the history of the Church.
Without regret for what he had done, Augustine would never have been open the healing power of God’s grace. Without awareness of sin, we tend to worship what Scripture calls the “pride of life.” We think that what is important is that we live life “our way.” As long as we are determined to live life our way, we cannot live life God’s way.
In order to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ,” we have to turn our lives over to God. This is a constant process. We are brought back to God through feelings of regret. People such as Jenna Jameson have fallen so deeply into sin, they barely know right from wrong. Such people have always existed. But it is frightening to think that they can now find a receptive audience of millions on mainstream television.
The road to heaven is paved with regrets. Those who never feel guilty or sorry for what they have done are destined to become slaves to their own desires. Perhaps Jenna Jameson feels "happy" with the life she had led. But I highly doubt it.
Either way, it is not the life God wants us to lead. So be wary of those who come in sheep’s clothing, telling you there is "no point to having regrets."
------------
The Importance of Family: Regrets and Forgiveness
We so often choose our friend circle on likes. Do we like the same music, the same television shows, the same clothing? Do we agree politically, or religiously? This is what makes family so entirely unique, however. You don’t get to choose your family based on any of these criteria, in fact you may not agree on anything at all, but you love them anyway.
I spent the entirety of my life taking my family for granted, and while I hate to admit that a traumatic event led to my awakening, it is so. I lost my long-term high school sweetheart to cancer in 2008. I was 20 years old, as was he. I was holding his hand when he died. I never really got to say good bye, at least not a conscious good bye. The two weeks prior to his death, I was back and forth between school and the hospital. I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I was in complete denial of his impending passing. One night, I just couldn’t take it anymore. The weight of stress, anxiety, paralyzing fear and sadness took over. So I lied. I said I had a family obligation, and instead I went out with my friends one night, to try and forget. I remember asking to speak to him on the phone when I made that call, but he was sleeping. That night, he took a turn and was put on a respirator and heavily sedated. He would be on the respirator and unable to communicate for the rest of his life.
I will never make that mistake again.
I now know that family, and friends who have become family, are more precious than any tangible gift you could receive this holiday season. What is a life, what are things, what are nights out on the town if you have no one to share them with? However cliché that may sound, it is one of the absolute truths made apparent by the envelopment of love that I received when facing the most difficult situation of my short life, and dealing with the heaviness of the guilt of leaving that cold night in October five years ago. Love is something we can all actually physically feel.
One of the biggest applications of this trauma in my adult life is forgiveness. I had to learn to forgive myself for not being there that night, and in doing so I have been able to forgive other family members for their own wrongdoings. I harbored so much bitterness and resentment towards my father for the entirety of my life, so much so that I couldn’t be around him without an argument or a heavy tension in my neck. I’ve learned that my father will never change, but that doesn’t mean that I have to stay the same. Forgiving him and regaining a relationship has given my life and his a positive energy that I think we were both missing for as long as I can remember.
I’ve grown to realize how lucky I am to have a mother who is my absolute best friend. She knows every sordid detail of my life, and rather than judging me for my mistakes, she offers a shoulder to cry on, kind words and more love than any person should be capable of giving. My mother has taught me what family truly means, sticking together no matter the trial. Most importantly, I’ve learned to tell my brothers that I love them. When I was younger, I felt odd saying those three words to them. Today I wouldn’t leave a visit without “I love you” escaping my lips.
You don’t get to choose your family, but you do get to choose who you treat like family.
------------------------
“Regret can be your worst enemy or your best friend. You get to decide which,” writes Martha Beck, writer and life coach.
Only if you are an individual who has little regard for the feelings and welfare of others can you have no regrets. So if Beck is right and we can choose how we frame regrets, why not opt for them to be our best friend? Understanding why we did what we did and learning from the experience means mistakes can become useful.
Learning from our mistakes means we no longer pretend to be perfect, but neither do we have to live ashamed. Once we realize what we've done, we can make amends and learn a better way of being.
Learning from our mistakes means we are not quick to judge. Personally, I am big on second chances — for myself as well as another.
Learning from mistakes also means becoming wiser about who — and what — is really important. Australian poet, jockey and politician Adam Lindsay Gordon wrote, “There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore and who always will.” The same goes for realizing what matters, what never did, what won't anymore and what always will.
So you made a mistake? Admit it. Learn from it. Allow the experience to help you become more responsible. Let it make you willing to hold out a hand to anyone else who is knee-deep in regrets.
Ironically, sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places. As novelist Victoria Holt says, “If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.”
The key is learning how to move on rather than getting weighed down with “coulda, woulda, shoulda” self-talk. If we get paralyzed with regrets from our past, we will miss the good things in our lives today.本回答被提问者和网友采纳
Though Jameson has retired from her “profession,” she is proud of her work. “I love who I am. I love that I can look back and say ‘I did it my way.’” She set out to be the number one porn star in the world and succeeded. Though she worries about how she will explain her past to her twin sons, she has no regrets.
As she spoke these words, the audience nodded in agreement. What is the point of regret anyway? "No sense dwelling on the past." "As long as she did it her way, that’s all that matters."
In our society, we talk about mistakes and learning from our mistakes. But that is different from regret. When we regret something we have done, we feel guilty. Though some people are guilt-ridden, many more think guilt is pointless and debilitating. It is a "psychological failing." To dwell on the sins of one’s past is "unhealthy."
Contrast this with St. Augustine. In his "Confessions," he says he was only able to know the joy of Christ by turning away from a life of sin. And he knew what he was talking about. As a young adult, Augustine lived a rather wild life in 5th century Rome and Milan, where he was a teacher of rhetoric and a speechwriter. He partied a lot, attended gladiatorial games, kept a mistress and had an illegitimate child.
One day, he walked into his garden, feeling overwhelmed with utter guilt and uselessness. At this low moment, he seemed to hear a child’s voice say, pick up and read. And having at hand St. Paul’s letter to the Romans, he opened it and read:
“Let us conduct ourselves becomingly as in the day, not in reveling and drunkenness, not in debauchery and licentiousness, not in quarreling or jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”
Augustine instantly underwent a deep spiritual change. Later he became a priest, a bishop, a Christian philosopher, one the greatest saints in the history of the Church.
Without regret for what he had done, Augustine would never have been open the healing power of God’s grace. Without awareness of sin, we tend to worship what Scripture calls the “pride of life.” We think that what is important is that we live life “our way.” As long as we are determined to live life our way, we cannot live life God’s way.
In order to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ,” we have to turn our lives over to God. This is a constant process. We are brought back to God through feelings of regret. People such as Jenna Jameson have fallen so deeply into sin, they barely know right from wrong. Such people have always existed. But it is frightening to think that they can now find a receptive audience of millions on mainstream television.
The road to heaven is paved with regrets. Those who never feel guilty or sorry for what they have done are destined to become slaves to their own desires. Perhaps Jenna Jameson feels "happy" with the life she had led. But I highly doubt it.
Either way, it is not the life God wants us to lead. So be wary of those who come in sheep’s clothing, telling you there is "no point to having regrets."
------------
The Importance of Family: Regrets and Forgiveness
We so often choose our friend circle on likes. Do we like the same music, the same television shows, the same clothing? Do we agree politically, or religiously? This is what makes family so entirely unique, however. You don’t get to choose your family based on any of these criteria, in fact you may not agree on anything at all, but you love them anyway.
I spent the entirety of my life taking my family for granted, and while I hate to admit that a traumatic event led to my awakening, it is so. I lost my long-term high school sweetheart to cancer in 2008. I was 20 years old, as was he. I was holding his hand when he died. I never really got to say good bye, at least not a conscious good bye. The two weeks prior to his death, I was back and forth between school and the hospital. I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I was in complete denial of his impending passing. One night, I just couldn’t take it anymore. The weight of stress, anxiety, paralyzing fear and sadness took over. So I lied. I said I had a family obligation, and instead I went out with my friends one night, to try and forget. I remember asking to speak to him on the phone when I made that call, but he was sleeping. That night, he took a turn and was put on a respirator and heavily sedated. He would be on the respirator and unable to communicate for the rest of his life.
I will never make that mistake again.
I now know that family, and friends who have become family, are more precious than any tangible gift you could receive this holiday season. What is a life, what are things, what are nights out on the town if you have no one to share them with? However cliché that may sound, it is one of the absolute truths made apparent by the envelopment of love that I received when facing the most difficult situation of my short life, and dealing with the heaviness of the guilt of leaving that cold night in October five years ago. Love is something we can all actually physically feel.
One of the biggest applications of this trauma in my adult life is forgiveness. I had to learn to forgive myself for not being there that night, and in doing so I have been able to forgive other family members for their own wrongdoings. I harbored so much bitterness and resentment towards my father for the entirety of my life, so much so that I couldn’t be around him without an argument or a heavy tension in my neck. I’ve learned that my father will never change, but that doesn’t mean that I have to stay the same. Forgiving him and regaining a relationship has given my life and his a positive energy that I think we were both missing for as long as I can remember.
I’ve grown to realize how lucky I am to have a mother who is my absolute best friend. She knows every sordid detail of my life, and rather than judging me for my mistakes, she offers a shoulder to cry on, kind words and more love than any person should be capable of giving. My mother has taught me what family truly means, sticking together no matter the trial. Most importantly, I’ve learned to tell my brothers that I love them. When I was younger, I felt odd saying those three words to them. Today I wouldn’t leave a visit without “I love you” escaping my lips.
You don’t get to choose your family, but you do get to choose who you treat like family.
------------------------
“Regret can be your worst enemy or your best friend. You get to decide which,” writes Martha Beck, writer and life coach.
Only if you are an individual who has little regard for the feelings and welfare of others can you have no regrets. So if Beck is right and we can choose how we frame regrets, why not opt for them to be our best friend? Understanding why we did what we did and learning from the experience means mistakes can become useful.
Learning from our mistakes means we no longer pretend to be perfect, but neither do we have to live ashamed. Once we realize what we've done, we can make amends and learn a better way of being.
Learning from our mistakes means we are not quick to judge. Personally, I am big on second chances — for myself as well as another.
Learning from mistakes also means becoming wiser about who — and what — is really important. Australian poet, jockey and politician Adam Lindsay Gordon wrote, “There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore and who always will.” The same goes for realizing what matters, what never did, what won't anymore and what always will.
So you made a mistake? Admit it. Learn from it. Allow the experience to help you become more responsible. Let it make you willing to hold out a hand to anyone else who is knee-deep in regrets.
Ironically, sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places. As novelist Victoria Holt says, “If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.”
The key is learning how to move on rather than getting weighed down with “coulda, woulda, shoulda” self-talk. If we get paralyzed with regrets from our past, we will miss the good things in our lives today.本回答被提问者和网友采纳
第2个回答 2015-04-18
英文太难了，可以写好汉语用谷歌翻译哦
