如题所述
摘要:忧虑很少带给我们动力—“我们会一遍遍地担心,而没有什么解决办法,而且担心的通常是未来最坏的情形,” 贾森·莫泽博士这样解释道,他现在密歇根州立大学心理学部门任助理教授,已经开展了诸多关于忧虑的调研。
Worry is, sadly, an inevitability of life. Bad things are bound to happen, and the natural human reaction is to think about the negative consequences that could potentially arise.
However, worry is rarely productive -- "it's something we do over and over again, without much resolution, and it's typically of the worst-case scenario of the future," explains Jason Moser, Ph.D., an assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Michigan State University, who has conducted studies on worry.
可惜的是,忧虑是生活中无法避免的。不好的事情定然会发生,而人类的本能反应就是去考虑可能由之带来的负面后果。
教你十一招对抗忧虑
然而,忧虑很少带给我们动力—“我们会一遍遍地担心,而没有什么解决办法,而且担心的通常是未来最坏的情形,” 贾森·莫泽博士这样解释道,他现在密歇根州立大学心理学部门任助理教授,已经开展了诸多关于忧虑的调研。
"There’s always an element of uncertainty, always an element of catastrophe," he tells HuffPost. Unlike fear, which has a more pin-pointable source (like a spider on the wall), people worry over "an amorphous, future uncertain threat -- something bad that might happen."
“总有不确定元素,总有灾难性的可能,” 贾森·莫泽博士在《赫芬顿邮报》讲道。忧虑和恐惧不同,恐惧是有具体原因的(比如墙上的蜘蛛),而人们担心的却是“无形的,未来不确定的威胁—可能发生的不好的事情”。
While the research isn't clear on the extent to which people are predisposed to worry, it is clear that there are some personality types that are more linked to worrying than others. Neuroticism seems to be tied to worrying, for instance, as is general intolerance of uncertainty, Moser says. And while everyone worries from time to time, it is possible to worry so much that it starts to have a noticeable impact on your daily life.
研究并没有清晰地表明哪些人更容易忧虑,但明确地发现了一些特定的个性特点更容易导致忧虑。比如神经过敏,通常很难接受不确定的结果,就易导致忧虑,莫泽博士讲道。而且每个人都会时不时地忧虑,这些忧虑达到一定程度就会开始明显地影响日常生活。
But even if you are a worrier, you're not doomed -- there are a number of effective strategies that worriers can use to stop the cycle. Moser and Christine Purdon, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist, professor and executive director of the Centre for Mental Health Research at the University of Waterloo, shared some of the most effective habits and strategies for squelching worry, as well as some common traits shared by people who aren't bogged down by it:
但是,即使你是个容易忧虑的人,这也并非无可救药——有很多有效策略可以让忧虑者停止这个恶性循环。莫泽博士和克里斯蒂·博登博士(专业认证心理学家,现为滑铁卢大学的心理健康研究中心教授和执行主任)在本文分享了一些能够有效消除忧虑的习惯和策略,以及摆脱忧虑的人群的共有特征。
They focus on the present.
活在当下
Perhaps one of the biggest differences between worriers and non-worriers is the ability to stay in the present, and not get bogged down by things that have yet to happen. Purdon calls it a "worry chain" -- the idea that one worry will spur a "what if," which spurs another worry and another "what if," and so on. Non-worriers are able to look at a problem and recognize what solution needs to be implemented, "but a worrier isn't able to get that kind of distance," she explains. "The mind goes a lot faster."
活在当下,不被尚未发生的事情困扰,这种能力也许就是衡量一个人是否容易忧虑的最主要区别。博登博士称之为“忧虑连锁”—就是一种担心会激发另一个“假如 “,再激发下一个“假如”,如此产生连锁效应。不易忧虑的人能够去看待难题并且找出需要的解决方法,“但是易忧虑的人却无法达到那种程度,”她解释道, “他们的思绪转得很快。”
For instance, say your son comes home with a bad grade. If you're a worrier, you might then worry that this will cause your son to fail the class, which will then impair him from getting into college. However, if you're a non-worrier, you'll realize that the immediate issue at hand is just that your son needs to study harder in this particular class -- and that's that. "I'm able to say, 'He usually does really well, he's smart, he’s dedicated, he’ll be fine; this is a blip, not a pattern,'" Purdon says. Whereas when worriers become anxious, their "intentional focus narrows to threat cues. They can get themselves very anxious very quickly."
比如,你的儿子考试考砸回到家。如果你是个容易忧虑的人,你可能会担心这会导致孩子最后挂科,可能会影响他上大学。然而,如果你是乐天派,你会意识到当下之急就是小孩需要在这门课上多用点儿功——仅此而已。“我可以说,‘他一直做得很不错,聪明又用功,他没问题的;这只是个小挫折,不是常态,” 博登讲道,然而,当忧虑者焦虑起来时,他们会“有意识地将注意力缩小到那些威胁性因素上,然后很快让自己不安起来。”
They practice mindfulness
学会专注
Because staying in the present is so fundamental to squashing worry, practicing mindfulness can help you to steer focus away from a hypothetical issue that could develop down the road. "It keeps you in the here and now and it helps you be more aware of your thoughts," Purdon says.
因为活在当下对于消除忧虑是如此重要,学会专注能帮助你将注意力从假设性的问题上转移开来,从而不再继续往下想。“专注的力量能够让你留在此时此刻,也让你更能注意到自己的想法,” 博登博士讲道。
And therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy, can also help worriers stop the negative cycle, since they focus "on the idea of not wrestling and disconfirming the worries, but getting people to focus on their life and values and focus on the present moment so they can make decisions," Moser adds.
一些专业疗法,比如认知行为治疗和接受与投入疗法,也能帮助忧虑者阻止这种恶性循环,因为这些疗法的核心是“不去对抗和否定忧虑,而是引导人们专注于他们自己的生活和价值,以及当下的情境,以便做决定。” 莫泽博士讲道。
Their brains actually function differently in a worry-inducing event
忧虑来袭时,让大脑慢下来减压
Moser recently had a study come out in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, showing that the brains of worriers and non-worriers actually work differently in a stressful event. For the study, Moser and his colleagues had 71 female study participants answer surveys that indicated whether they were generally positive thinkers or negative thinkers/worriers. Then, the participants looked at negative images -- such as a woman having a knife held to her throat by a masked man -- as their brain activity was monitored and recorded.
莫泽近来在《变态心理学杂志》发表的一项研究表示,忧虑者和乐天派在面对紧急事件时,大脑的工作方式是不同的。为了这项研究,莫泽博士和他的同事找来了71 位女士去回答调研问题,这些问题能够反映她们是普遍意义上的积极思考者还是消极忧虑者。之后,参与者会被安排去看负面图片——比如一个女子被蒙面人用刀指着喉咙——与此同时参与者的大脑活动会被监测和记录下来。
Moser found that the brains of the positive thinkers were less active than those of the negative thinkers/worriers. In fact, "the worriers actually showed a paradoxical backfiring effect in their brains when asked to decrease their negative emotions,” he explained in a statement. “This suggests they have a really hard time putting a positive spin on difficult situations and actually make their negative emotions worse even when they are asked to think positively.”
莫泽发现积极思考者的大脑比消极忧虑者的活动量少。事实上,“忧虑者在被要求减少负面情绪的时候竟然产生了矛盾的逆反效应,”他在一项陈述中解释道。“这表明对忧虑者而言,在困难的情境下积极思考非常困难,在被要求去积极思考时,他们的负面情绪甚至更糟。”
They're more willing to take chances
勇敢尝试
While worriers have a hard time making decisions -- they take a long time because they can become crippled by all the potential negative outcomes -- non-worriers are more willing to test out solutions to a problem even if a bad outcome is possible, Moser says. In that same vein, non-worriers are also more flexible in the way they think about things, so they don't get stuck in a negative thinking rut.
忧虑者通常很难做出决定——之所以花很多时间是因为所有可能的负面结果都能把他们击垮——乐天派则更愿意去尝试诸多解决方式,即使冒着失败的可能,莫泽讲道。如此一来,乐天派能更加灵活地思考问题,因而不会陷在负面的思维套路中。
They have a sense of perspective
置身事外,客观看待
Non-worriers are able to distance themselves from a situation in order to gain perspective. However, worriers can increase their perspective, Moser explains. One method for doing this is thinking of all the worst possible scenarios, and then evaluating how likely each of them is to really happen. For example: If a worrier is concerned about losing her job, she may jump to the worst-case scenario, which is that she will end up living under a bridge, homeless and alone. But Moser says that talking a worrier through a scenario like this helps her understand how unlikely that outcome is to happen.
乐天派能够在特定的情境中让自己置身事外从而可以去客观看待。其实,忧虑者也可以提高客观看待问题的能力,莫泽博士解释道。一种应对方式是去设想所有最糟糕的可能结果,然后评估每种结果真正发生的几率到底有多大。比如,如果一个忧虑者担心自己丢掉工作,她可以思维跳跃设想最坏的情景——最终无家可归,孤身寄居桥下。莫泽讲到,向忧虑者谈及这样一个情形能够帮助她认识到这种结果出现的几率是多么小。
Moser suggests another simple strategy to gain perspective: Using your own name instead of "I" when referring to your emotions. For instance, saying "I'm going to fail" is harsh and doesn't allow any distance between you and the thing you're worried about. But "if you talk about yourself in the third person, you can take better perspective," Moser says.
莫泽也提到另一种客观看待问题的方法:提及自己的感受时,用你的名字而不是“我”去指代,举个例子,说“我会失败”听起来很残酷,这会让你和自己所担心的事情听起来很近。然而,“如果你站在另外一个人的角度去谈论自己,你就可以做到更加客观,” 莫泽讲道。
They get to the root of their worry
设想最坏的情形,找出忧虑的根源
The problem with worrying is that it can spin out of control until the thing you're worried about is 10 steps removed from your immediate issue. That's why it's so important to figure out what the real problem is in order to stop the worry cycle.
忧虑的问题就在于它会一发不可收拾,直到你担心的事情排到你眼下急需解决的问题10步以外。这就是为什么找出真正的症结所在并停止忧虑循环如此重要。
"When I work with worriers, I try to work on them with problem identification, and to help them be comfortable doing that," Purdon says. "Yes, there are some problems that could lead to something else, but [let's] not worry about that right now because it's not happening right now."
“和忧虑者一起工作的时候,我尝试引导他们找出问题,并且让他们习惯于这么做,” 博登讲道。“是的,有些问题的确可以引发其他问题,但是先别去管它们,因为现在还没发生。”
It's important to move from problem-generation, which is what worriers are prone to do, to problem-solving. "Worriers think what they're doing is constructive -- that by anticipating [the future problems], it's helpful in some way," Purdon says. "It's reasonable, to some extent, to do that, but they can't stop themselves once they get started."
让忧虑者从“产生问题”向“解决问题”转移是非常重要的。“忧虑者认为他们未雨绸缪的做法在某些方面是非常有益的,” 博登博士讲道。“从某种程度上说这样做是有道理的,但是忧虑者一旦开始就停不下来了。”
They don't stop worrying -- they just designate time for it
安排专门的时间,让自己担心个够
"One of the reasons why people engage their worry is they think, 'This is an issue I must sort out now, I have to anticipate and plan against these outcomes.' It grabs attention off what they need to be attending to, whether it be job, spouse, kids, whatever," Purdon explains. So, she recommends using a strategy called the "worry chair." It works like this -- reserve a 15-minute time during the day where you can just think and ponder over your worries on your own. Don't worry outside those 15 minutes, and make sure that you're spending your worry session in the same spot (hence the term "worry chair"!) each day.
“人们花时间忧虑的原因之一就是他们会去思考,‘这个问题我必须现在想清楚,我要先预估并且为这些可能的结果进行计划和准备。’这样的思考将他们的注意力从原本应该专注的事物(无论是工作,配偶,孩子或者其他)上分散开来,” 博登解释道。因此,她推荐采用一种名为“忧虑椅”的方式。具体如下——白天预留出15分钟时间,让自己可以全部用来考虑和衡量自己担心的事情。这15分钟以外的时间,不要有任何担心,同时保证你每天都在同一个地方度过自己的忧虑时间(这就是“忧虑椅”的说法!)。
"What that means is when you're worried during the day, you can say, 'I'll think about that later. I can switch my attention off that and go on to other things,'" Purdon says. "And what they find is, 'I'm not even worried about that anymore.' But giving them permission to worry about it, but later, allows them to switch the attention away from the thought."
“这样做的意义在于当你白天忧虑的时候,你可以告诉自己,‘这个晚点再去想,我可以转移自己的注意力接着干其他事情,’” 博登博士讲道。“然后他们会发现,‘我甚至已经不再为那件事担心啦。’但是允许他们去担心,只是晚点儿,可以让他们将注意力从担心的想法中转移开来。”
They have confidence they can handle whatever comes at them
相信自己:发生任何事情,都能应对
"People with high worry not only generate ideas about what could go wrong, they also lack confidence in their ability to cope with what could go wrong," Purdon explains, adding that this is ironic considering worriers actually perform quite well in a crisis since they've spent so much time thinking about the worst-case scenarios and have normal coping abilities. Non-worriers, on the other hand, possess the confidence that if something were to happen, they'll just ... handle it.
“容易忧虑的人不但会有各种想法认为事情会出错,而且缺乏对自己应对能力的自信,” 博登也同时讲到,由于忧虑者其实能够很好地处理危机,这一点是有些讽刺的,因为他们早已花了很多时间去设想最坏的可能并且有了正常的应对能力。从另一个方面来讲,乐天派自信地认为如果有事情发生,他们只需要……处理它。
They have the ability to see positive outcomes in seemingly bleak situations
即便事实黯淡,也能看到积极的结果
Take the graphic image Moser used in his Journal of Abnormal Psychology study, described earlier. If you were to look at an image of a woman being held at knifepoint by a masked man, what do you think the next immediate outcome would be? A worrier would likely only think of the worst-case scenario, while a non-worrier would have the capacity to think, "That woman is in distress, but maybe she breaks away from her assailant and runs to safety," Moser explains. Non-worriers are able to see that there could be a positive outcome to a negative event.
想想之前提到的莫泽博士在《变态心理学杂志》上发表的研究中用过的图片。如果你看到图片上一个女子被蒙面汉用刀指着喉咙,你认为紧接着的结果会是什么?忧虑者很有可能只会想到最坏的情形,然而乐天派的人会有大脑容量去思考,“那个女子处于危难之中,但也许她能够从蒙面汉手中逃脱,跑到安全的地方,”莫泽博士解释道。乐天派的人有能力从负面的事情中看到积极的结果。
They ask themselves the right questions
问自己三个问题
Worriers who are trying to tamp down on their worrying tendencies could find it useful to ask themselves a series of questions when they're going down a negative path. "Ask, 'Is it my problem?" And secondly, 'Do I have any control over it?'" Purdon says. "Thirdly, the next question people can ask themselves is, 'Have I already done everything about it that I can? And is it imminent?' If it's not imminent, then there's no reason to worry about it now."
想要平息忧虑?当陷入负面情绪时问自己一系列问题:“提问,‘是我的问题么?”第二个问题,“我有办法控制它么?’” 博登说道,“第三个问题,‘我已经做到所有自己能做的了么?这事紧迫么?’如果不急,就没有理由现在去担心啊。”
They know how to perceive their negative emotions
正确对待负面情绪
"The most severe chronic worriers [are] less accepting of their emotions, which means they're intolerant of uncertainty and also find negative emotions in particular to not be very acceptable," Moser explains. Meanwhile, people who have a healthier psychological outlook tend to look at negative emotions as a sign that whatever is causing those emotions -- whether it be relationships, or work, or bills -- needs attention. They use emotions to make informed decisions.
“症状最严重的慢性忧虑者很难接受自己的情绪,就是说他们无法容忍不确定性,尤其很难接受负面的情绪,” 莫泽解释道。然而,在心理观念健康的人们看来,负面情绪只是一种征兆,表明引发这些情绪的根源——无论是人际关系,工作或者账单——需要注意而已。他们会利用自己的情绪全面地做出决定。