求助英语段落翻译!不要软件翻译的,谢谢哈~

1.That old style kitchen phone is a relic. It used to hang in my wife's childhood kitchen, as far as I can remember. It has a crack in it from being dropped. The numbers are worn off, and we re-write them in every so often with a Sharpie marker.
2. All of the other phones for sale were labeled as "convenient" and they were all cordless. Convenient, yes, if you use them and return them to the charger. I know, I know, I should make my daughter do this. She does, sometimes, rounding up all the died-out phones and putting them back into the charger. Then the scattering (and chattering) process begins all over.
3.Back to my new, old phone. I brought it home from Meijer, and plugged it in to the phone socket in our bedroom. Now, when the phone rings, there will be one on each floor that's sure to be there. Hah!
4.That's why she has usurped all of our cordless phones: Picking them up, using them, leaving them places, letting the batteries die, then picking up the next one she can find, and continuing the process.
5.Now I haven't mentioned my other daughter in this post. She's not quite into the phone thing yet. We probably have a few more years. By that time, I hope to have the whole house rewired, if you get my drift.
还有木有人看到这个求助啊~真心求大神帮忙,谢谢各位了!!!

1. 老式的厨房电话是个文物,在我的记忆力中,它一直挂在我妻子儿时的厨房。曾经不小心掉在地上的地方有一道裂纹。数字都被磨掉了,每次我们都用Sharpie牌笔重写。
2. 所有其他销售的电话都贴上“方便”,他们都无绳电话。方便,是的,如果你使用它们,退还充电器。我知道,我知道,我应该让我女儿做这件事。她做的,有时,收集所有没电的电话,给它们充电。然后散布(聊天)过程开始。
3. 回到我新的老电话。 我把它从梅杰公司买回家, 把它插在卧室的电话插座上。 现在,当电话响的时候,每一层都会而且肯定会有一个在那里。
4. 这就是为什么她会侵占我们所有无绳电话的原因:拿起电话,使用他们,把它们放好,用坏电池,然后拿起她能找到的另外一个,然后持续这个过程。
5. 这次我没提到我的另外一个女儿。她目前还对电话不太感兴趣,我们还得等几年。在这段时间,我希望能将整个房子都重新布线,如果你能明白我的意思。
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