这是og test1 的综合写作和独立写作。 哪位高手能帮我看看！~谢谢啦！~目标成绩是90+
The lecture completely refutes the points made in the reading.
First of all, the reading passage proposes the sentinel guards for other meerkats without eating, which means altrusim . However, the lecture doubts it. The lecture point out that the sentinel guards after eating. In other word, sentinel guard with full stomach.
Second, the reading passage mentions that when a predator is approaching, the sentinel gives an alarm cry for other meerkats who are hunting food and keep itself in danger. On the contrary, the lecture argue that the sentinel will escape instead of giving alarm when a predator is approaching, because it's close to the burrow. In addition, the other meerkats will come together, which draw the predator's attention and they're more likely to be noticed.
Finally, the reading passage believe that people share their food and donate their organs to families even strangers gain little reward. Nevertheless, the lecture is suspicous about this. These donators receive the appreciation and respect.
In a word, it is questionable that both animals and people have altruism
As a young adult, with parents working on business far from home, I stayed with my grandparents before going to university. In my childhood, I hardly met my parents and I could only hear their voice by telephone. As a result, I support the idea that young adult should stay with parents for a longer time.
My initial reason associates with the point that I enjoy being with my families. I'm not willing to leave the relaxing, exhilarating atmosphere when talking with my parents. My father is a humorous man. It seems his head is filled with thousands of jokes and all my vexation and difficulties will be left behind after listening to the jokes. My mother is considerate and she makes delicious meals. You can't imagine how happy for a family having meals together.
Another essential factor is that after I get married, I won't live with my parents. Consequently, I can't concentrate all of my energy and time on looking after my parents everyday, and therefore they may suffer from loneliness. Now that there is sufficient time before marrying, I want to ensure they're in good health and keep them safe. Furthermore, if I become independent as soon as possible, there's much less time to take care of them.
Last but not least, I can get access to precious experience from parents. Their enthusiasm and optimism give me encouragement and confident when I failed to be chosen to be the chairman in the Students Union. "Don't be upset. Life is full of trouble. You must face it." Once I had an argument with my roommate since she stayed up into midnight and it seriously influenced my sleep. Mother told me friendship plays an important role in my life and I should get along with my friends well.
From what I've discussed, I prefer to stay with my parents for a longer time for the sake of reasons above.
1.开头段你只是说两者意见相反，但要点明对什么持相反意见（have a conflict of opinion about...)
2.第二段“ The lecture point out that ”谓语形式。哎呀，你的第二段的很多句子不完整啊，很多连谓语都没啊
3.综合写作是不需要结尾的，一共4段。开头+3主体段
4.作为没有看过reading passage和 没有听过listening 的我看了你的文章一头雾水啊。你要让一无所知的人看了你写的文章后恍然大悟才算成功。思路再清晰点啊
独立：
1.第一段相当好！！创新啊！！要是我，肯定是背景+观点老套路，但你很有新意，用例子开头，不管是不是真的，相当有感染力。我也学到一手拉！
2.Last but not least最好不要用在托福写作中，因为有些不正式
3.你的文章给我一种全新的认识，对托福写作全新的理解。就是用例子作为分论点！
Do not thank me for giving advice to you , please let me thank you first for opening up my mind!追问
非常感谢您的点评！~
综合写作里到底每段应该怎么说呢？
建议你做TPO的写作部分，网上有下的，因为OG上面的是与真题差别大的
一般开头都可以写成：The reading and listening passages have a conflict opinion about +主题。The reading points out its three benefits, which are contradicted by the following lecture.
你的主体段的结构好，就是阅读+听力，但你的重点不明，语言啰嗦。建议你重新打开阅读文本和听力文本，不限时间，把每句话的意思搞懂，重写。彻底把这篇搞清楚。
你可以多看看综合写作的范文，都是简洁明了的。
比如我，主要是听力问题，有的时候我听不懂就不能做啦
