The job of raising children is a tough one. Children don't come with an instruction manual. And each child is different. So parents sometimes pull their hair out in frustration, not knowing what to do. But in raising children-as in all of life-what we do is influenced by our culture. Naturally then, American parents teach their children basic American values.
To Americans, the goal of parents is to help children stand on their own two feet. From infancy, each child may get his or her own room. As children grow, they gain more freedom to make their own choices. Teenagers choose their own forms of entertainment, as well as the friends to share them with. When they reach young adulthood, they choose their own careers and marriage partners. Of course, many young adults still seek their parents' advice and approval for the choices they make. But once they "leave the nest" at around 18 to 21 years old, they want to be on their own, not "tied to their mother's apron strings."
The relationship between parents and children in America is very informal. American parents try to treat their children as individuals-not as extensions of themselves. They allow them to fulfill their own dreams. Americans praise and encourage their children to give them the confidence to succeed. When children become adults, their relationship with their parents becomes more like a friendship among equals. But contrary to popular belief, most adult Americans don't make their parents pay for room and board when they come to visit. Even as adults, they respect and honor their parents.
养育孩子的工作是十分艰难的。孩子们不是天生都一样的,每个孩子是不同的。因此,家长有时沮丧得想揪头发,不知道该怎么办。但是正如我们生活的方方面面,我们抚养子女的行为也是受到了文化的影响。自然地,美国父母教给孩子们基本的美国价值观。
对美国人来说,父母的目标是帮助孩子们独立自主。在婴儿期,每个孩子都可以得到他或她自己的房间。随着孩子的成长,他们获得了更多的自由以作出自己的选择。青少年选择自己的娱乐形式,以及朋友们的分享。当他们成长为青少年,他们选择自己的事业和婚姻对象。当然,许多年轻的成年人仍然寻求家长的意见以批准他们所做的选择。但是,一旦他们离开了自己18-21岁时的"小巢",他们想的是独立自主,而不是“牵着母亲的围裙带”。
在美国,父母与子女之间的关系是非常不传统的。美国的父母尝试把他们的孩子作为独立的个体而不是作为他们身体一部分的延伸。他们允许子女实现自己的梦想。美国人通过赞扬和鼓励他们的孩子,让他们有信心取得成功。当孩子们长大成人,他们与父母的关系变得更像朋友之间的平等的友谊。但与普遍认为的相反,当父母来拜访时,大多数成年美国人不要求他们的父母支付食宿费用。即使身为成年人,他们仍然尊重且尊敬他们的父母。