1你的打扮很有个性也很时髦
新手翻译：you dress is very fashionable .and your dresses is in style.
2你可否打扮的更时尚一点
新手翻译：could you be a little more fashionable
3我没想到你能抽空来陪我
新手翻译：l can hardly imagined that you 're person who accompany me
4我很高兴你能来陪我
新手翻译：l am so excited that you take time to be with me
5你来陪我衣着又正规语气又不温柔，还不愿在我家过夜，算了你还是回去吧，我不要你赔，我才不要你送的花。
新手翻译：is it necessary for you to wear formal?and don't live together with me tonight.ok,you'd better leave fast.l won't need you to be here with me.
6你以为我需要你陪吗？你想多了。
新手翻译Don't think l must stay with you?you think too much.
7他喜欢看我走猫步
新手翻译He'd like to see my hips wiggle as l catwalk
改为Your dress is very stylish and fashionable.
2你可否打扮的更时尚一点could you be a little more fashionable
这样说没错。a little 放在比较级前面表达 再。。一点 是常见用法。
3我没想到你能抽空来陪我l can hardly imagined that you 're person who accompany me
imagine表达想象，这里是你无法想象，无法相信的意思，所以不恰当。 you're the person who表示你就是那个（陪伴我的）人，这里也不恰当。
改为： I didn't expect you could make it to be with me（to come to see me）. 我没预计到你能抽空陪我（来看我）
4我很高兴你能来陪我l am so excited that you take time to be with me
take time 要么主语用it 表达某事费时（多久），例如 it takes time to read a novel。读小说要花点时间。或者主语是人的时候，表达慢慢来，不紧不慢的意思。例如，don't play too fast, take your time! 别演奏太快，慢一点。（充分运用时间）
这里改为：I am so excited that you come to see me(to be with me)。
5你来陪我衣着又正规语气又不温柔，还不愿在我家过夜，算了你还是回去吧，我不要你赔，我才不要你送的花。is it necessary for you to wear formal?and don't live together with me tonight.ok,you'd better leave fast.l won't need you to be here with me.
第一句wear不能同look, seem等用法，所以要用wear formally。第二句意思变成了：今晚别住我这。第三局leave fast表示快速离开，并不是快离开。最后一句时态不对。
改为：Is it necessary for you to wear formally? And you don't want to stay tonight. Ok, you'd better leave right now. I don't need you to be here with me.
或者按照原汉语的翻译：
You come to see me, but dress so formally, and you sound so cold. And you don't want to stay tonight. All right, you can go now, I don't want your stay, neither do I want your flowers.
还可以更讽刺一点， You come to see me, dressing in that costume. You sound so official and not even close to staying tonight. Forget it, you are free now. Please leave. I don't need you to stay , and those flowers are just flowers.
6你以为我需要你陪吗？你想多了。Don't think l must stay with you?you think too much.
这样说虽然没什么错，但must强调你不能控制我。意思是：别以为我必须和你在一起。你想的太多。
根据原汉语也可以改为：You really think I need you so stay with me? You think too much. /Don't be arrogant.
7他喜欢看我走猫步He'd like to see my hips wiggle as l catwalk
一般catwalk指模特步的时候做名词 另外这里虽然可以用see my hips wiggle，但是用wiggling更生动恰当。
所以改为：He'd like to see my hips wiggling as I do the catwalk.来自：求助得到的回答
2、冠词a多余，因后面无名词。
3、陪伴应用单三，person 前需加定冠词the.
4、so应去掉，so…… that是用于主语与从句为原因与结果的句子。
5、问题很多farmal要用副词，需加 ly。live 改为stay ，fast改为 soon。
6、Do you think I would stay with you? You are being paranoid.
7、要用wiggling。追问
我farmals.忘记加s咯应当可以不用变副词吧？
还有第三句应当不属于口语话加定冠词还不是翻译很差哦。
还有我那个第一句多打了your dresses 。应当可以保留.you dress is very fashionable and is in style.不重复呀。
你第6句用You are being paranoid不口语话哦
farmal是形容词，怎么能加s？
第三句，与是属于口语无关。这里的person是特指，且后面有个限定性定语从句，一定要加定冠词。
第一句中，very fashionable与 in style是一个意思，意思重复。
第6句打错了。being应删掉。
如果在原句基础上改语法错误：I can hardly iagine that you are a person who could accompany me.
5. to dress formally, stay with me for the night
6. Do you think I need your company? Not at all.
